Punishment Theory
by DarkPaladin000
Summary: Sir Thursday is angry at his Times, but instead of hitting them, he's taking a different approach, embarrassing them completely in front of the entire Maze!


**A/N: So, this is a sort of idea that popped into my head after watching **_**Impractical Jokers **_**so this is loosely based on it. Sorry if some parts don't work smoothly, because I'm not sure how to write out a Powerpoint Presentation effectively in paper.**

Sir Thursday was furious.

Now, you might say 'What's new?', but the thing was that he was extra furious today because he had caught his three Marshalls with Upper House Vodka, something he had explicitly forbidden after several incidents.

But, those three just didn't seem to be able to learn. His normal instinct was to take out his belt and start whipping all of them, but that had proved pretty ineffective all the last times, plus he couldn't keep doing that since everyone else would see the wounds and he did not want any more talk going around about how dangerous he was.

And so, he retreated to his room and began angrily flipping through war books until he found one that promised something, titled 'Punishment Tactics'. He had never read it since he had only a few punishment tactics, all 'the good ol' fashioned way', but now thought that it might have a solution to his problem.

And it was so that this led to Marshalls Noon, Dawn and Dusk gathering outside a room in the Citadel for what Sir Thursday said would be Marshall Noon's punishment.

"Okay then," Sir Thursday said. "Beyond that room is a bunch of Denizens who have gathered to hear about a presentation to be given by you, Marshall Noon, which I have made myself. As your punishment, you are to say that this was actually made by you, and are to do everything that it says on it. If you give any indication otherwise…." Sir Thursday trailed off and then punched a nearby table into pieces.

Noon gulped, but was slightly relieved that Sir Thursday wouldn't be hitting him. How bad could this possibly be?

"Marshalls Dawn, Dusk, and I will be watching you from a special room," Sir Thursday said. "And before you give this, I want you to change your boots."

Sir Thursday pointed to a pair of black boots near the door and Noon changed into them, wondering why changing them was necessary but not daring to ask. Noon walked into the hall.

Sir Thursday and his other Times took a different door, and climbed a staircase to reach a room which had a view right at the auditorium. The glass was one-way, something Thursday had been satisfied to know that mortals had already made.

Most of the controls to the projector were also in the room, as well as some other buttons.

Marshall Noon walked into the room nervously. The seats were about two-thirds filled, and the screen read: _**Handling Stress As A Soldier, By Marshall Noon**_

"So," Noon said awkwardly. "I have invited you all to this seminar to talk about stress, and made this Powerpoint which was clearly made by me and me alone and no one else."

Sir Thursday nearly face-palmed. For every word that Noon was saying trying to convince everyone that he had made the presentation, it was actually going to have the opposite effect.

Sir Thursday hit a button to take the presentation to the next slide. He had only found about Powerpoint Presentations recently and thought that they were a pretty nice way to present stuff.

Marshall Noon began reading off the points in the next slide:

_**Stress, is defined as '**__**a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.' As you might imagine, levels of stress are much higher in Denizens of the Great Maze as compared to the rest of the House.**_

_**Unfortunately, many Denizens choose to simply ignore stress rather than doing something about it. Like most of you, I too was a victim of stress and this had several negative effects on my life, leading to increasing anger, decreasing efficiency, and even alcoholism. As a result of stress, I began having severe headaches. I also began sneaking into Marshall Dawn's room and wearing her clothes when no one was looking.**_

Marshall Noon read the last line before he realized what it said. He had gotten so used to the flow of the paragraph that he had said that last statement without thinking, which was no doubt what Sir Thursday had planned.

Sir Thursday changed it to the next slide:

_**As a matter of fact, I began to do some pretty crazy things when I was stressful. Here is a video of one:**_

Sir Thursday hit the 'play' button and video of Marshall Noon in his office showed up.

_There was a small table kept in the center of the screen which was decorated with pink dollies. There were three small chairs around the table, with a Blue Bunny in one, a stuffed Green Crocodile wearing a pink hat in the second one, and a Barbie Doll in the third one._

_There was a teapot kept in the middle of the table with a plate and cup in front of each of the members seated and one at an unoccupied corner._

_Marshall Noon soon appeared to take the vacant place. He was far too big to sit at a small table so he sat down on his knees._

"_All right," he said. "I'm glad that all of you ladies could make it to my tea party. Why don't you all introduce yourselves?"_

_Noon then grabbed the crocodile and said in a high –pitched voice, "Good evening all. My name is Miss Nesbit. And what a lovely party you've made here, Marshall Noon."_

"_Why thank you," Marshall Noon said in his normal voice. He then grabbed the bunny and said in a slightly higher-pitched voice, _

"_Good morning. My name is Miss Potters and I'd so much prefer to be here with you Noon rather than with Dawn or Dusk since you're so much better than them."_

_Marshall Noon nodded and smiled giddily. He then said, "That's really nice. You guys are so much better than those other people. Sometimes I really wonder if I'm good enough, and it's all just so hard to keep together."_

_He then reached over to the Barbie Doll and said in an even higher voice, "Don't worry, Noon. You'll always be the best to us. We believe in you."_

"_Thank you," Noon said. His face then began to fall. "Even though you're all just dolls and toys and I brought you because no one really wanted to have tea with me because they were too busy. After all, who had time for old Noon?" He then began sobbing into his hands uncontrollably._

And with that, the clip ended. Marshall Noon was left staring at the screen in horror. How had Sir Thursday gotten that footage? Was his room bugged? Were all of the rooms bugged?

"Wait," Marshall Dawn said, "was that my stuffed crocodile I bought from the Border Sea?"

Marshall Dusk had a lot of things on his mind that he wanted to say, but he didn't want to say any of them since he didn't trust himself to speak. He was sure that he had broken at least three ribs trying not to laugh.

Sir Thursday left no room for further comments as he changed it to the next slide. Marshall Noon glanced at the slide and began reading:

_**Thankfully, I found a better way to cope with stress rather than wearing my sister's clothing or playing with toys. My method involves three steps:**_

_**First, you take off your boots or shoes, whatever you're wearing.**_

_**Second, you place them into your mouth, making to put the sole in.**_

_**Third and last, you do the hokey-pokey with them still in your mouth.**_

_**I will now do a live demonstration of this technique.**_

Sir Thursday knew exactly what Marshall Noon was thinking at this point, 'Just whose boots are these?'

Marshall Noon was thinking exactly that. The boots looked clean, but he wasn't sure where they had been and now he was being forced to put them into his mouth. Contrary to popular belief, he was not a big germaphobe, but that didn't mean that he was okay with putting his boots in his mouth.

Hoping that this ordeal would soon be over, he put the boots in his mouth awkwardly and then music began playing out of the speakers saying, "You put your right hand in, You put your right hand out, You put your right hand in, And you shake it all about. You do the hokey pokey. And you turn yourself around…"

And so, Noon did perhaps what would forever be known as the most awkward hokey-pokey dance in the history of the universe, even more awkward than that time Pravuil had tried it.

After that, Noon turned to look at the presentation.

_**And that, ladies and gentlemen, concludes our presentation. Before you leave though, I would like to talk to you all about a charity that I had set up. I will need for each of you to give me a small lock of your hair, not too much, but a little, for a charitable cause for which I have made a video. I will explain about it as the video progresses.  
**_

Then, the screen flashed black and a video started playing. For the first twenty seconds, everyone stared at the screen in confusion.

It was a video of Mister Monday. At Burger King. Eating a burger.

Sir Thursday chuckled to himself for the first time. "Go on, Noon, tell us all how this works into your charity. Use your non-existent creativity."

The screen now showed Mister Monday eating fries and adding salt to them. Noon was just staring at the screen wondering what explanation he should give for this.

Then, the screen changed. It showed a Piper's Child looking sadly out into the horizon from the Citadel. Then, the screen faded to show a grave.

Noon was feeling several gears in his mind reeling, but he wasn't sure of what to say.

Then, it showed a picture of a turtle and a caption under it.

_**For several years, the population of turtles in the Great Maze has declined significantly. But, if we act now, we can save approximately thirty turtles in the next eight thousand years.**_

That sounded slightly slow to Noon, but at least it gave him something to work with.

Then, the screen shifted to show Lady Friday singing Hilary Duff's "So Beautiful" except she couldn't remember half of the words.

And with that, the video ended.

Marshall Noon turned awkwardly towards the audience. Now he was to explain what his video was about and why he needed samples of other people's hair.

He opened his mouth in order to give an explanation, but nothing came out.

And that's when Marshall Noon fainted.

At that moment, Thursday came out from the room and motioned for the rest of the Denizens to stay in their places.

"Now," Sir Thursday said. "I think we should all thank Marshall Noon for taking the time out in order to make that presentation. Also, I didn't understand what his charity was about, but I still think that we can all donate a small amount of hair to his charity. I think we should give him a round of applause."

The Denizens all applauded, after all, their commander had told them to, but several of them look confused as to what had happened.

**The Next Morning**

Noon was not in a good mood. For one, it had been bad enough that he had embarrassed himself in front of everyone in the Citadel, but worse still; Sir Thursday had been the one to carry him to his room and put him to bed.

Except that Sir Thursday had somehow 'forgotten' whose room it was and put Marshall Noon in Dawn's bed instead. That had indeed caused quite a commotion in the morning and he was sure half the Citadel had already heard about it.

As if he needed more people thinking strange things about him, like that he enjoyed cross-dressing and tea parties. He sighed, at the very least, his punishment was over.

How very wrong he was.

Thursday, Dawn, and Dusk were already at the breakfast table. Next to them was a huge pile of envelopes.

"What are these things?" Noon asked.

"Hair," Thursday said. "From pretty much every Denizen in the Great Maze. Everyone heard about your charity and decided to contribute."

"But-but, what am I supposed to do with all this hair?" Noon asked.

Thursday shrugged. "I don't know. After all, it is _your _charity. And don't even think about throwing it all out, after all, hair grows slowly in the House and this shows that your fellow soldiers care more about you than their hair."

Noon sank to the floor. Now to make matters worse, people were going to think that he enjoyed collecting other people's hair.

Dawn and Dusk started chuckling. They only stopped when Sir Thursday said, "One down, two to go."

Dawn and Dusk ate their meals in silence after that.

**A/N: And so this ends. Except for the next two chapters regarding Dawn and Dusk's punishments.**


End file.
